Weirdest Recent Mill Road Happenstances   Leave a comment

A popular problem for the self-obsessed is that everything seems to be happening to them, whereas in fact it’s just confusing old reality going about its business in its usual chaotic fashion.
Every day I walk down Mill Road and more often than not I’ll spot something that seems particularly out of the ordinary, and the other day I decided to keep a daily logbook of odd events to test scientifically for especial weirdness. I’ll call them Weirdest Recent Mill Road Happenstances.

Weirdest Recent Mill Road Happenstance: Up ahead of me I see the guy with one leg attempting to cross the road, but unfortunately his false leg has come off and is slipping down out of his trouser leg. Obviously the poor fucker is mortified because he’s in the middle of the road and there’s a car waiting for him while he gets his shit together, but he’s flustered and he’s trying to do everything too quickly. The leg looks really unsettling because it’s a fucking leg but it’s totally at the wrong angle and so on. Matey is so desperate to get out of the road that he just hops vigorously to the kerb with the leg trailing awkwardly out of his slacks, and the held-up motorist moves off as though driving on eggshells.

Posted December 10, 2003 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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