Archive for April 2004

MY DRUG RAT SHAME   Leave a comment

Well, that must be about my quota of embarrassment used up for a year and a day or so. I was just in Spar paying for some electricity for Sam and when it gets to my turn in the queue I feel something under my foot and realize that I’m standing on a small bundle of weed in Clingfilm. I say small but it was probably about a quarter. I assume its my lucky day but just to make sure I do a sly recce of the shop in case there’s someone behind me staring at the floor with a look of concern on their face. There isn’t, so I casually genuflect and snaffle up the dope. Result! Then, as I leave the shop I see a geezer staring at the floor with a look of concern on his face. What’s more, I vaguely know the chap as a friend of a friend kind of thing, so this is where it all gets a bit morally murky. I instantly realize that the decent thing to do would be to wait until he comes out again and then ask him if he’s lost something, as its obviously fucking him that has, but instead I sort of do a bit of ambiguous lingering outside the shop for about ten seconds, including several half-turns and inconsequential attempts at motion in one direction or another, and then, paralysed by indecision and the non-appearance of matey to make my mind up for me, I just walk off towards home. Then I start to feel very guilty. Even though it would be a little strange to go back and ask a relative stranger whether they’d mislaid any illegal drugs, I know full well in my heart that that is what I ought to be doing. However, I don’t. I walk on, sweating extra sweat in the spring heat. And then I hear: “Excuse me! Excuse me!” behind me. Fuck.
Now, what I ought to do here is say something like “Don’t worry mate, I know what you’re after” or wait until he’s said his little bit and then say “Oh, it was yours was it?” but of course I know exactly what is going on, and in my guilty discomfort I just stand there and wait for him to ask me in a very roundabout way whether I’d seen any lost weed in Spar. Then I let out a deep breath, hand over the dope, and say something incredibly meaningless in a very nervous voice that basically translates as “I’m sorry I stole your marijuana. I wish I hadn’t been caught out. I feel bad.” Matey just seems grateful to be reunited with his herb, and also somewhat in tune with how I’m feeling, as he’s very good about it, but I still feel covered in shame.
When I get home I give Sam the whole story about my unmasking as a drug rat, and then head up here to my PC where I find a message from my man Axwax on Soulseek thanking me for “saving” his weed! It turns out the other dude was delivering it to this friend of mine, who is a very solid dude. Evidently the Gods are toying with Pete Um again.

Posted April 26, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

retail idiocy   Leave a comment

Some recent vinyl purchases from registered charity outlets:

Black Coffee – Peggy Lee 10″ LP
Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac – Fleetwood Mac
The World Of John Mayall – John Mayall
Lefty Frizell Sings The Songs Of Jimmie Rodgers – Lefty Frizell
Romantic Warrior – Return to Forever
Classic Clifton – Clifton Chenier
Radio-Activity – Kraftwerk
Trans-Europe Express – Kraftwerk
The Man Machine – Kraftwerk
Please to See The King – Steeleye Span
Verlieb Dich In Mich/ Ein Bissen Krieg 12″ – Deutsch Amerikansche Freundschaft
In Strict Tempo – Dave Ball
Lalkar (soundtrack) – Kalyanji Anandji
Wake Up The Party – Scorcher
Maritime Fiddle Contest Dartmouth, N.S – Cye Steele
King Of Kwela – Spokes Mashiyane
Canadian Fiddle Sound – Rudy Meeks
Playing With Fire – Spacemen 3
The Seaside – Cardiacs
Expansions – McCoy Tyner
Steppin – The Pointer Sisters
Jean Carnignan – Jean Carnignan
Grand Texas – Chuck Guillory
Amayenge – Amayenge
Thokozile – Mahatlini & The Mahotella Queens
Tsvimbodzemoto – The Bhundu Boys
Shabini – The Bhundu Boys
The Indestructible Beat Of Soweto – Various
Eartha Kitt Sings 10″ LP – Eartha Kitt
Songhai – Ketama/Toumani Diabate/Danny Thompson
Travel-Log- JJ Cale
Misa Criolla – Ariel Ramirez
Little Rock Getaway/Tennessee Waltz 78 – Les Paul
In The Mood/Out Of Space 78 – Glenn Miller
Ambuya – Stella Chiweshe
Cubik 12″ – 808 State
Strawberry Fields Forever 12″– Candy Flip
Boops (here To Go) 7″ – Sly & Robbie
Hey DJ 7″ – World’s Famous Supreme Team
Lean On Me 7″ – Red Box
? (in Arabic) 7″ – Sidi Mansour
Driving Away From Home 7″ – It’s Immaterial
Love Missile F1-11 7″ (I always buy this when I see it) – Sigue Sigue Sputnik
The Power 7″ – Snap
Can I Kick It? 7″ – A Tribe Called Quest
Lovesick 7″ – Gangstarr
Take A Rest 7″ – Gangstarr

It’s a good job I’m not rich. When Andy Warhol died he left rooms and rooms full of boxes of antiques and stuff that he’d never even unwrapped.

Posted April 7, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

UM: a serious ride in the music business.   Leave a comment

Just got this through the electronic post:

UM Members:

Please take moment to read this e-mail! I had a close look at your web site
and it seems like the band is in for a serious ride in the music business.
Therefore we are here to offer more alternative means to get heard and
expand your promo material.
We are setting out a PROMOTIONAL month of April and charging a fee of £120
(£200 normal rate) for the full recording of your show (16 Trks on to Pro
Tools) with further possibilities of performing vocal overdubs at Ferry Lane

R.L.Sound – (LIVE Recording on Location) – 0800 458 3547


Rob Foster (RLSound)

Very decent of you, Robert. Other recent evaluations of the Um sound include the following from a blogger who caught a recent gig by chance:

The first artist was a young chap singing along some slighly surreal lyrics to a sequencer, which I thought worked rather well.

Thanks mate. Henceforth I shall consider myself a slight surrealist. Next up we have the considered opinion of the bloke I was obnoxious to at the Sandpaper Sessions gig:

A friend of mine who was with that evening bought your CD and we must say

that it is pretty good and provides something a bit different to listen to

for a change.

Vive la difference, eh? I shall use that quote for promotional purposes.

Just thought I’d keep everyone updated vis a vis Ummania.

Posted April 5, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

you can't just go around blaming everybody else, actually   Leave a comment

My three-year old son uses the word actually to excess, as does his four-year old mate. To hear them in conversation is a little surreal.


Phil seems to feel he’s orbiting way above my earthly cares at

I should point out that, despite the fact that his email makes it abundantly clear that he’s joking; his so-called April Fool arrived on March 18th.

Talking of fools and fooling – yesterday in Arjuna we were selling little bags of Organic Air for £1.55. No one had bought any (or even got the joke) by midday so we had to reduce them. At the end of the day we should have given them to the homeless but perhaps that would have seemed cruel.

Talking of total bollocks:

When she was at school, my friend George told 3 little fibs to make herself sound more interesting.

Fib a) that actually she was from Wales.
Fib b) that actually her name was Georgina Louise
Fib c) that her dad actually sang the theme to Champion The Wonder Horse.

From now on I will fraudulently attempt to pass off these 3 lies as my own. Please address me as Peter Louise henceforth.

Hey, it seems to work for Susan. Such a shame about Retro Electro though, which didn’t seem to work at all this time, so the Boy Sue shot it like a lame gelding in mascara. I blame:

a) The venue-monkeys, who you sort of suspected were taking part in some kind of Channel 4 job-swap docu-soap. Plus The Kambar is the drabbest place on earth. You could never quite shake the feeling that it was actually closed.
b) The punters, i.e. you cunts. Place might as well have been bloody closed. On the other hand, I wouldn’t have gone there and paid good money myself. You had to force yourself to DJ there.
c) The Retro Electro posse ourselves. Because you can’t just go around blaming everybody else.

Oh yeah. You know the bloke I hit with the rudder at the Sandpaper Sessions? He emailed me to tell me that he wasn’t offended that I “FUCK YOU!”‘d him. All he actually said was “I don’t like Goats”, when I introduced Goat, which is hardly the most extreme prejudice in the world, although some of my goat friends might disagree.

Goats attacked me once actually, when I worked at the Donkey Sanctuary (I haven’t had many jobs, but I’ve sure had some stupid ones). I had to climb over a stile into a very muddy and very slippery field with a big sack of carrots on my shoulder, and since goats basically do what they like they all started jumping up on me and destabilizing me with their hooves and I went over and all I could see was mud and bits of rucking goats and then quickly I scrambled up and told them all to FUCK OFF or they’d get none. They usually got the guy with the mental age of 5 (who looked like Herman Munster with Dennis Healy’s eyebrows) who’d been on £17 pound a week since the early 80’s to do that job. He used to call everybody either granddad or grandma, depending on their sex, and if you stood too near him for too long he’d pat your head and say “nice cat, nice cat”. Roy, that was his name. Man, I could tell you some stories about that place. Ask me sometime and I will.

Posted April 2, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized