Archive for November 2004

Thankyou for this opportunity to speak to you all today.   2 comments

My PC is working for the first time in several days, but not for long I presume. Uh…here’s the one and only review of the Um 7″ single:

And what’s this all about? My French only gets about half of this:

And, despite seeming to have declined the opportunity to review that Um single, Dave’s good efforts on behalf of Tripel Records have persuaded somebody at The Wire to showcase a small representation of the groovy Um sound. Scroll down to the absolute bottom of the page, almost at the very end of the internet itself, and you will discover:

OK people. I hope to reappear soon, perhaps when Andrew Coleman (Ninja Tune/Thrill Jockey/Tripel) gets back off The Road and can start fucking around with video cards.

Lots of Love,


Posted November 21, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

An improvement in your volume   Leave a comment

Marianne Jffu sent the following to Flo Nefax, but somehow it ended up on my computer:

Our product is an all elemental grass product
comprising a mixture of herbage known for boosting intimate
longing with performance. By victimization our product you
should experience an increase in sexual craving, an improvement
in your volume and discharge, also as increased energy
and delight during sexual action.

click here

And Sarah Jhl urged me that:

You can transform to the unsurpassed person for your wife.

Timothy Bcoslpi reckoned:

girlish ang sexy fillies are holding back you!

Meanwhile Hilda Jasawoosl wonders:

Have you at any time speculate how much an average man
pays for his medicine? Pain pills, remedy to amend the
class of life, weight cut medicine, and many more.
We carry you the same specific, the vegetable reading — the equal
choice, the equivalent prescription at a very judicious cost.

ensure this

And Dob Quobre believes:

Our recent view displays that 75 percent of girls are discontented
with their intimate mates. Of course most of these women
would never narrate their colleague that they are miserable.

Renovate the trouble

But Jeffrey Drnscunke, somehow privy to the knowledge that I’m not “experiencing wonderful following morning time”, advises:

Our recent survey shows that it takes an average of just 1.3
drinkings to effect a hang-over. But this pills
helps you avoid katzenjammers and wake up sentient splendid from caput
to belly and all over else.
Click to read more

Still bogged down with PC problems, which means that I’m frantically burning data onto CDs inbetween swearing at parallel lines. The first thing I did was get a rough mix of all the songs I hadn’t deemed finished onto minidisk, just in case I never saw them again. I had believed that Giraffe Outtakes had more or less mopped up the vast majority of my patchy creative output since about September 2003 (The Old Album but it would seem that I somehow have almost 100 tunes (ha ha) in addition to the 85 spread over the Giraffes. I was marvelling aloud on the subject of this extraordinary artistic potency to Sam the other day, because the idea that someone can sustain an average of a song every other day for that length of time simply beggars belief. “They are very short songs though,” she observed.

Right, back to Nero, and maybe I’ll allow myself a little reel-to-reel action later.

Posted November 16, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

voodoo in the house again   Leave a comment

Might be a while before the next entry chums. PC giving me hideous gyp. When I boot up it does all its disk check FAT 32 stuff and then I get an endless variation on the theme of coloured parallel lines. What is that? Hard drive dying? Video card? Satanic teasing?

Just more shit to go with The Portland closing and all the rest of it. Oh life, as Darcie might say.

Posted November 9, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

All I can say   Leave a comment

Well, GO USA!!!

– is all I can say, you fucking bunch of stupid, ignorant, non-passport-owning, SUV-driving, motherfucking idiot cunts. And that’s just for proving me wrong. I think it was Osama Bin Laden who said:

Praise be to Allah who created the creation for his worship and commanded them to be just and permitted the wronged one to retaliate against the oppressor in kind. To proceed:
Peace be upon he who follows the guidance: People of America this talk of mine is for you and concerns the ideal way to prevent another Manhattan, and deals with the war and its causes and results.

Before I begin, I say to you that security is an indispensable pillar of human life and that free men do not forfeit their security, contrary to Bush’s claim that we hate freedom.
If so, then let him explain to us why we don’t strike for example – Sweden? And we know that freedom-haters don’t possess defiant spirits like those of the 19 – may Allah have mercy on them.

No, we fight because we are free men who don’t sleep under oppression. We want to restore freedom to our nation, just as you lay waste to our nation. So shall we lay waste to yours.

No one except a dumb thief plays with the security of others and then makes himself believe he will be secure. Whereas thinking people, when disaster strikes, make it their priority to look for its causes, in order to prevent it happening again.

But I am amazed at you. Even though we are in the fourth year after the events of September 11th, Bush is still engaged in distortion, deception and hiding from you the real causes. And thus, the reasons are still there for a repeat of what occurred.

So I shall talk to you about the story behind those events and shall tell you truthfully about the moments in which the decision was taken, for you to consider.
I say to you, Allah knows that it had never occurred to us to strike the towers. But after it became unbearable and we witnessed the oppression and tyranny of the American/Israeli coalition against our people in Palestine and Lebanon, it came to my mind.

The events that affected my soul in a direct way started in 1982 when America permitted the Israelis to invade Lebanon and the American Sixth Fleet helped them in that. This bombardment began and many were killed and injured and others were terrorised and displaced.

I couldn’t forget those moving scenes, blood and severed limbs, women and children sprawled everywhere. Houses destroyed along with their occupants and high rises demolished over their residents, rockets raining down on our home without mercy.

The situation was like a crocodile meeting a helpless child, powerless except for his screams. Does the crocodile understand a conversation that doesn’t include a weapon? And the whole world saw and heard but it didn’t respond.

In those difficult moments many hard-to-describe ideas bubbled in my soul, but in the end they produced an intense feeling of rejection of tyranny, and gave birth to a strong resolve to punish the oppressors.

And as I looked at those demolished towers in Lebanon, it entered my mind that we should punish the oppressor in kind and that we should destroy towers in America in order that they taste some of what we tasted and so that they be deterred from killing our women and children.

And that day, it was confirmed to me that oppression and the intentional killing of innocent women and children is a deliberate American policy. Destruction is freedom and democracy, while resistance is terrorism and intolerance.

This means the oppressing and embargoing to death of millions as Bush Sr did in Iraq in the greatest mass slaughter of children mankind has ever known, and it means the throwing of millions of pounds of bombs and explosives at millions of children – also in Iraq – as Bush Jr did, in order to remove an old agent and replace him with a new puppet to assist in the pilfering of Iraq’s oil and other outrages.

So with these images and their like as their background, the events of September 11th came as a reply to those great wrongs, should a man be blamed for defending his sanctuary?

Is defending oneself and punishing the aggressor in kind, objectionable terrorism? If it is such, then it is unavoidable for us.

This is the message which I sought to communicate to you in word and deed, repeatedly, for years before September 11th.

And you can read this, if you wish, in my interview with Scott in Time Magazine in 1996, or with Peter Arnett on CNN in 1997, or my meeting with John Weiner in 1998.
You can observe it practically, if you wish, in Kenya and Tanzania and in Aden. And you can read it in my interview with Abdul Bari Atwan, as well as my interviews with Robert Fisk.

The latter is one of your compatriots and co-religionists and I consider him to be neutral. So are the pretenders of freedom at the White House and the channels controlled by them able to run an interview with him? So that he may relay to the American people what he has understood from us to be the reasons for our fight against you?
If you were to avoid these reasons, you will have taken the correct path that will lead America to the security that it was in before September 11th. This concerned the causes of the war.

As for it’s results, they have been, by the grace of Allah, positive and enormous, and have, by all standards, exceeded all expectations. This is due to many factors, chief among them, that we have found it difficult to deal with the Bush administration in light of the resemblance it bears to the regimes in our countries, half of which are ruled by the military and the other half which are ruled by the sons of kings and presidents.
Our experience with them is lengthy, and both types are replete with those who are characterised by pride, arrogance, greed and misappropriation of wealth. This resemblance began after the visits of Bush Sr to the region.

At a time when some of our compatriots were dazzled by America and hoping that these visits would have an effect on our countries, all of a sudden he was affected by those monarchies and military regimes, and became envious of their remaining decades in their positions, to embezzle the public wealth of the nation without supervision or accounting.
So he took dictatorship and suppression of freedoms to his son and they named it the Patriot Act, under the pretence of fighting terrorism. In addition, Bush sanctioned the installing of sons as state governors, and didn’t forget to import expertise in election fraud from the region’s presidents to Florida to be made use of in moments of difficulty.
All that we have mentioned has made it easy for us to provoke and bait this administration. All that we have to do is to send two mujahidin to the furthest point east to raise a piece of cloth on which is written al-Qaida, in order to make the generals race there to cause America to suffer human, economic, and political losses without their achieving for it anything of note other than some benefits for their private companies.
This is in addition to our having experience in using guerrilla warfare and the war of attrition to fight tyrannical superpowers, as we, alongside the mujahidin, bled Russia for 10 years, until it went bankrupt and was forced to withdraw in defeat.

All Praise is due to Allah.

So we are continuing this policy in bleeding America to the point of bankruptcy. Allah willing, and nothing is too great for Allah.
That being said, those who say that al-Qaida has won against the administration in the White House or that the administration has lost in this war have not been precise, because when one scrutinises the results, one cannot say that al-Qaida is the sole factor in achieving those spectacular gains.
Rather, the policy of the White House that demands
the opening of war fronts to keep busy their various corporations – whether they be working in the field of arms or oil or reconstruction – has helped al-Qaida to achieve these enormous results.

And so it has appeared to some analysts and diplomats that the White House and us are playing as one team towards the economic goals of the United States, even if the intentions differ.

And it was to these sorts of notions and their like that the British diplomat and others were referring in their lectures at the Royal Institute of International Affairs. [When they pointed out that] for example, al-Qaida spent $500,000 on the event, while America, in the incident and its aftermath, lost – according to the lowest estimate – more than $500 billion.
Meaning that every dollar of al-Qaida defeated a million dollars by the permission of Allah, besides the loss of a huge number of jobs.
As for the size of the economic deficit, it has reached record astronomical numbers estimated to total more than a trillion dollars.

And even more dangerous and bitter for America is that the mujahidin recently forced Bush to resort to emergency funds to continue the fight in Afghanistan and Iraq, which is evidence of the success of the bleed-until-bankruptcy plan – with Allah’s permission.
It is true that this shows that al-Qaida has gained, but on the other hand, it shows that the Bush administration has also gained, something of which anyone who looks at the size of the contracts acquired by the shady Bush administration-linked mega-corporations, like Halliburton and its kind, will be convinced. And it all shows that the real loser is … you.
It is the American people and their economy. And for the record, we had agreed with the Commander-General Muhammad Ataa, Allah have mercy on him, that all the operations should be carried out within 20 minutes, before Bush and his administration notice.

It never occurred to us that the commander-in-chief of the American armed forces would abandon 50,000 of his citizens in the twin towers to face those great horrors alone, the time when they most needed him.

But because it seemed to him that occupying himself by talking to the little girl about the goat and its butting was more important than occupying himself with the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers, we were given three times the period required to execute the operations – all praise is due to Allah.
And it’s no secret to you that the thinkers and perceptive ones from among the Americans warned Bush before the war and told him: “All that you want for securing America and removing the weapons of mass destruction – assuming they exist – is available to you, and the nations of the world are with you in the inspections, and it is in the interest of America that it not be thrust into an unjustified war with an unknown outcome.”
But the darkness of the black gold blurred his vision and insight, and he gave priority to private interests over the public interests of America.

So the war went ahead, the death toll rose, the American economy bled, and Bush became embroiled in the swamps of Iraq that threaten his future. He fits the saying “like the naughty she-goat who used her hoof to dig up a knife from under the earth”.
So I say to you, over 15,000 of our people have been killed and tens of thousands injured, while more than a thousand of you have been killed and more than 10,000 injured. And Bush’s hands are stained with the blood of all those killed from both sides, all for the sake of oil and keeping their private companies in business.

Be aware that it is the nation who punishes the weak man when he causes the killing of one of its citizens for money, while letting the powerful one get off, when he causes the killing of more than 1000 of its sons, also for money.
And the same goes for your allies in Palestine. They terrorise the women and children, and kill and capture the men as they lie sleeping with their families on the mattresses, that you may recall that for every action, there is a reaction.
Finally, it behoves you to reflect on the last wills and testaments of the thousands who left you on the 11th as they gestured in despair. They are important testaments, which should be studied and researched.

Among the most important of what I read in them was some prose in their gestures before the collapse, where they say: “How mistaken we were to have allowed the White House to implement its aggressive foreign policies against the weak without supervision.”
It is as if they were telling you, the people of America: “Hold to account those who have caused us to be killed, and happy is he who learns from others’ mistakes.”
And among that which I read in their gestures is a verse of poetry. “Injustice chases its people, and how unhealthy the bed of tyranny.”

As has been said: “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.”
And know that: “It is better to return to the truth than persist in error.” And that the wise man doesn’t squander his security, wealth and children for the sake of the liar in the White House.
In conclusion, I tell you in truth, that your security is not in the hands of Kerry, nor Bush, nor al-Qaida. No.

Your security is in your own hands. And every state that doesn’t play with our security has automatically guaranteed its own security.
And Allah is our Guardian and Helper, while you have no Guardian or Helper. All peace be upon he who follows the Guidance.

Posted November 3, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

American Election/Funk action/John Peel still dead.   1 comment

Right, historic day and all that so I’m forcing myself out of this deep funk to get blogful. By the way I’ve stopped the quest for the ultimate spam email sender nonsense name, which has been hard because humdingers keep coming in (sniffing at my voodoo) but I will mention that I had WENDY FUNK hassling me to buy software today. I also seem to be getting a lot of job offers to work for Korean financial institutions (one DESMOND CHAMPION offered me the job). Anyway, I’m having a bad week or a month or a fortnight or something because Sam’s just had miscarriage number three (by far our easiest yet), John Peel has died, our dear friend Lord Charles Elderflower-Smythe has succumbed to the call of the posh and moved to Winchester (to set up a fucking Kung-Fu school) and it would seem only fitting to cap things off if George Bush was to win or even “win” the American Election. Actually I watched Newsnight last night in Cane-O-Vision and it seemed like the winds of change might be blowing. There was something in Kerry’s body language that suggested he might have actually started believing his own hype, and a slim majority of the pundits seemed to think he was going to win it. Even Newt Gingrich seemed ambivalent as to the outcome. Anyway, let’s hope so. Obviously he’s a horsefaced fascist cocksucker who isn’t about to sort Iraq or the Middle East out, but he isn’t George Bush and Co., and it would be nice to think that the world could maybe step back from where we’re at right now and take a breath.
On the subject of John Peel, I don’t know what the hell to say. I’ve been trying to write something since I first heard about his death and I haven’t managed one word. I just kept looking at websites and articles in newspapers and talking to friends and hearing my own thoughts coming back at me. On some forum related to The Fall one person after another had simply put “gutted”. Of those middle-aged jumper wearing blokes posting to the forum who were a little more forthcoming with the subtleties of their emotional state, many admitted to being in tears as they typed. I will sum up the themes surrounding his memory as follows:

1) Peel was the greatest radio DJ we have had and are likely to have.
2) His contribution to popular music (for want of a better phrase) was immeasurable, mainly by introducing decent music made by musicians to ears owned by genuine music-lovers.
3) He was a sort of surrogate Dad for a hell of a lot of people.
4) His show was the basis for a hell of a lot of shared experience.
5) He was profoundly decent, sensitive and funny. A truly great broadcaster.

So, yeah, my thoughts are with those who knew him best, and also with that damn single of mine that’s sitting somewhere in a pile at the BBC. I mention this again because, for a lot of aspiring musicians, the idea that John Peel might play your song (or even give you a session!) is the ultimate goal of the aspirant before you become the “musician” proper. Well, at the very least, it would be much, much better than a decade of Christmases and birthdays rolled into one, or maybe a bit like getting one of Willy Wonka’s magic tickets. The theory was that Peel had great taste, and could spot a diamond in the rough, and the other theory was that I/me and him/us lot are fucking brilliant, and therefore Peely will play me/us, thereby ratifying our genius and legitimating our loser lifestyles. Now, I had three tries at getting John Peel to listen to my music:

1) When I was in my old band we personally slipped him a tape after a little Q & A session he gave to about 15 people at APU sometime in the early 90s. We heard nothing from Peel, but then the tape was a load of arse. My “singing” was fucking atrocious anyway.
2) I sent him some Um ages ago with a torturously self-defeating letter. I heard nowt.
3) The glorious Um clear vinyl E.P. was sent his way about three weeks ago, accompanied by a decent press pack assembled by Andrew. When and if this failed we were going to try again via a friend who had a shoo-in with the Peel show, and if that failed we were going to try his home address, which Steve Broken Family gave me about two years ago as a sort of magick bequest.

Anyway, he’s dead and its no dice and there’ll never be no Um on the John Peel show, but the worst thing is I’ll never know if this is a result of me failing to carpe the old diem as fucking per. I suspect it may be karma, because of the following fact:

When I worked at the Boat Race (then a workers co-op music venue) I was in charge of listening to all the demo tapes that bands sent to the venue. Almost without exception these demos were execrably bad, and so after slagging them off in a pithy review (usually something like: “Cunts. Fuck them.”) I would use the cassette to tape the John Peel show. I once spent an entire year, if not more, doing little else with my day than editing Peel tapes with a double deck system. So, what goes around comes around.

Last Peel point:

When Jo Bad Timing was small and young she sent Peely a birthday card covered in innumerable pictures of Clare Grogan, and he sent her a nice card back, which she still has.

Posted November 2, 2004 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized