In which electronic musicians chat idly about evil…   Leave a comment

Now I don’t want to go cluttering up the World Wide Web with a highly personal account of the tedious minutiae of my daily existence, but you know I’m always on about the Voodoo? Do you remember how my minidisk player the Tascam MD-301 MK2 stopped working kinda mysteriously and then started working again even more mysteriously? Well, the other day I finally decide to bite the bullet and take my DV camera into the menders, on account of the fact that I am soon to be off on a high-profile tour of Europe and I wanted some documentary evidence of my own relative current success as opposed to what has gone before and what will inevitably come round again. The camera had stopped working in Rotterdam, simply giving a “to service” error message whenever you switch it on, something which I have done somewhat forlornly somewhere in the region of fifty times since, hoping against hope that some kind of magick shit will occur and my expensive piece of hi-tech equipment will be resurrected from the digital dead. Anyway I thought I’d better check the camera didn’t have a tape of me smoking cannabis and talking about paranoia or somesuch on it so I plugged the beast in before heading off to town. I think you can tell where I’m going here…yes? Been working perfectly ever since.

The other day I overheard a fragment of a conversation on Mill Road.

[coarse male voice] “…with the handle, blatantly fucking sticking up still…”

What was this handle attached to? What function did the handle perform? Who left it sticking fucking blatantly up? Why was this an issue? Perhaps we shall never know…

I’m looking into getting a new computer. This is me and my man mrdonkey chatting about it on Soulseek earlier (the reason I’m called samgirlx is because my PC’s fucked and I’m using my girlfriend’s laptop):

(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] been looking into shuttles for you
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] theres a lovely new model available
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey]
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] latest nforce 4 chipset
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] and built in graphics….
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] 64 bit
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] sata
(sent while offline) [mrdonkey] yummy
[samgirlx] ooh
[samgirlx] was just about to write polite message enquiring as to state of things
[samgirlx] all means nowt to me of course
[samgirlx] my basic ting is i want a music machine and a voodoo machine and i guess i’d baulk at paying more that 600 notes
[samgirlx] i’ve got sam’s old pc if that helps with any basic bits
[samgirlx] like, basic soundcard
[samgirlx] but then, they’re probably about 12p now
[samgirlx] with the same spec
[samgirlx] anyways, guess if its all online you can let me know what i want and i can buy with credit card…
[samgirlx] i think i’m getting fed up with making twatty improv with fx pedals and such
[samgirlx] and i miss my mailouts
[samgirlx] if we need new power for my old machine i’ll stump up for that too
(12:08) [mrdonkey] can probably do you a shuttle st20g5 with athlon64 3500+, 200 gig sata harddrive and 1 gig of ram for about £570
(12:08) [mrdonkey] monster machine
[samgirlx] cool, just playing a game on the scooby doo website if i sound a bit distratecd
(12:09) [mrdonkey] will also be able to fit the maudio card in it so no need for any new audio cards
[samgirlx] rah
(12:09) [mrdonkey] and should be able to get the older machine working if we can take out a few bits
[samgirlx] like wht?
(12:10) [mrdonkey] that st20g5 shuttle will fit faster processors as well.. they’re pretty pricey at the mo though
[samgirlx] how much?
(12:13) [mrdonkey] maybe we could put the dvd writer in the shuttle?
(12:13) [mrdonkey] and the maudio card will be in the shuttle
(12:13) [mrdonkey] hmmm
(12:13) [mrdonkey] how much what?
[samgirlx] its a conundrm
(12:13) [mrdonkey] faster cpus?
[samgirlx] cos lots of the peripheral stuff is kind of useful for music
[samgirlx] yeah
(12:14) [mrdonkey] but the shuttle wil be the music machine yes?
[samgirlx] yeah
[samgirlx] well, i guess
(12:16) [mrdonkey] it will be the most powerful of the two machines
(12:16) [mrdonkey] by a long way
(12:17) [mrdonkey] and it’ll be very quiet
(12:17) [mrdonkey] which is useful for recording
[samgirlx] ok, music, power and quiet go together
[samgirlx] and semi portable
[samgirlx] andrew was advising me against becoming a laptop artist last night
[samgirlx] like, my minidisc player is a key thing in my act
[samgirlx] my source of power
(12:19) [mrdonkey] hehe
(12:20) [mrdonkey] laptops do have a certain ‘image’ when it comes to gigs these days
(12:20) [mrdonkey] so i kinda agree
(12:20) [mrdonkey] thought the mpc was the live tool?
[samgirlx] yeah, that’s what he was saying
[samgirlx] maybe, but its huge, hard to use
[samgirlx] etc
(12:21) [mrdonkey] bugger
[samgirlx] and it glitches
(12:21) [mrdonkey] and you look like a burger king cashier when you use it
[samgirlx] he he
[samgirlx] but thats better than a laptop
(12:23) [mrdonkey] i was telling dave the other day that electronic is out of fashion now but it’ll all come round again
(12:23) [mrdonkey] fashion being the fickle beast it is
(12:23) [mrdonkey] he wouldnt buy it thought
[samgirlx] ha ha
[samgirlx] sorry, 4 year old hassling the fuck out of me
[samgirlx] scooby doo online gaming is defeating me
(12:24) [mrdonkey] lol
[samgirlx] i’m shit at games
[samgirlx] taken me about three days to work out that you need to use the stuff you’ve picked up in mone screen in another to prgress
[samgirlx] one screen, i should say
(12:26) [mrdonkey] wow, sounds like a tough puzzle ;p
(12:27) [mrdonkey] oh yeah, cpu prices…. the one i mentioned before, the 3500+ is £150
(12:28) [mrdonkey] and they go up to, im not joking here, £739 for a twin core 4800+
(12:28) [mrdonkey] bleeding edge
(12:28) [mrdonkey] ;o
[samgirlx] kinell
[samgirlx] fuck that shit
(12:29) [mrdonkey] indeed
[samgirlx] nice to know what we’ll be paying 150 for in a year or two
(12:30) [mrdonkey] but it does mean you have some expandibility in the shuttle
[samgirlx] expandibility?
(12:30) [mrdonkey] the motherboard chipset is pretty new
(12:31) [mrdonkey] so it’ll allow you to upgrade the cpu to a twin core monster when they get cheaper
[samgirlx] cool
[samgirlx] i want to know when they’re phasing out voodoo
(12:33) [mrdonkey] got up at 5:45 this morning…
(12:33) [mrdonkey] great light out
(12:33) [mrdonkey] sun was just up and the dark clouds were forming from the west
(12:33) [mrdonkey] oh, the joys of coffee
[samgirlx] and when all wars will end and mankind will come together in universal brotherhood, heaven on earth…
(12:33) [mrdonkey] david pajo says ‘war is dead’
[samgirlx] well, its pretty shitty out now
(12:34) [mrdonkey] yeah, it is nasty now
[samgirlx] shows what guitarists know
(12:34) [mrdonkey] hehe
(12:34) [mrdonkey] pajo is a weird album
(12:34) [mrdonkey] war is dead is a nice song though
[samgirlx] hang on, syd wants string
[samgirlx] ?
(12:35) [mrdonkey] but some of the others are really dreary
(12:35) [mrdonkey] is that the right word?
[samgirlx] dreary? probably
(12:37) [mrdonkey] have you listened to solo monk yet?
[samgirlx] nope
[samgirlx] need to put it on my machine
[samgirlx] i’m worreid i’m going to get flour in my iriver
[samgirlx] thought about
getting a really cheap mp3 player
[samgirlx] but thats stupid
[samgirlx] cos i’d have two of them
[samgirlx] two minidisc players
[samgirlx] plus the big one
(12:39) [mrdonkey] you love it
[samgirlx] and any number of walkmans, tape players and dictaphones
(12:39) [mrdonkey] you’re a collector
[samgirlx] two reel to reels
[samgirlx] and I want another computer?
[samgirlx] oh yeah, and daves adat
[samgirlx] which i’m meant to be buying for 100 quid
[samgirlx] but it keeps glitching on me
(12:40) [mrdonkey] why has dave got an adat?
[samgirlx] like everything else
[samgirlx] bella union leant it him ages ago
[samgirlx] and when al died…
[samgirlx] back in the day hugos used to dream of an adat
[samgirlx] and i saw one in bowes and co (thieves) for about a grand
(12:41) [mrdonkey] it was your bridge to certain pop success huh?
[samgirlx] exactly
[samgirlx] if we just had eight tracks of digital tape
[samgirlx] and i could sing
[samgirlx] and rich wasn’t a numpty on bass
(12:42) [mrdonkey] yeah, rich never did funk
[samgirlx] it was kind of his strength
[samgirlx] he played bass like no other
[samgirlx] we called it honey monster bass
[samgirlx] sort of awkward, lumpen
[samgirlx] stiff and dumb
(12:43) [mrdonkey] not in a musical way at least
(12:43) [mrdonkey] i’ll have to give you a copy of this jim o’rourke dat of andrew’s
(12:43) [mrdonkey] it’s four hours of ambient ‘hanging out’ with big jim
[samgirlx] hey, whats that…vague bells…
[samgirlx] is it music?
(12:44) [mrdonkey] jim walks on roads, walks on gravel gets an answer phone message from a happy german and makes train journeys
[samgirlx] i hate fucking jim or rourke
(12:44) [mrdonkey] it has a bit of ‘performance’ in it
(12:44) [mrdonkey] and typing
(12:44) [mrdonkey] and cooking
(12:44) [mrdonkey] and more train sounds
[samgirlx] i’m composing a thing for my diary
(12:45) [mrdonkey] and a bit of rain
[samgirlx] he’s a stupidass
[samgirlx] i’ll like to beat him up
[samgirlx] with my brother
[samgirlx] slap him around a bit
(12:45) [mrdonkey] i saw a bit of sonic youth playing ‘live’ at, er, was it the v festival…
[samgirlx] teach him what for
[samgirlx] i hate sonic youth
[samgirlx] especially now
(12:46) [mrdonkey] and it was really embarassing
[samgirlx] since they got that cunt o rourke in
(12:46) [mrdonkey] like watching someones parents rocking out
[samgirlx] jesus
[samgirlx] that’s my destiny
[samgirlx] well, my present reality
(12:46) [mrdonkey] and they look a bit like r e m
(12:47) [mrdonkey] or at least the drummer does
[samgirlx] i hate rem
(12:47) [mrdonkey] i hate rem
(12:47) [mrdonkey] so much
(12:47) [mrdonkey] but not as much as u2
[samgirlx] hate hate hate
(12:47) [mrdonkey] H A T E
[samgirlx] ah, U2 are alright
[samgirlx] good bunch of guys
(12:47) [mrdonkey] u2? alright?
[samgirlx] he he
(12:47) [mrdonkey] c u n t s
[samgirlx] what about edges hats?
[samgirlx] adam
[samgirlx] etc
(12:48) [mrdonkey] no
(12:48) [mrdonkey] no
(12:48) [mrdonkey] no
(12:48) [mrdonkey] no
(12:48) [mrdonkey] hate
(12:48) [mrdonkey] HATE!
[samgirlx] syd is screaming at me
[samgirlx] and I’m laughing my head off
[samgirlx] “why are you laughing”?
(12:49) [mrdonkey] did the string not satisfy him?
[samgirlx] he says…
[samgirlx] you know how it is with string
[samgirlx] the joy wears off
(12:50) [mrdonkey] im listening to ‘i’m confessin (that i love you)’ again by mr monk
[samgirlx] i’ll give it a sniff
(12:50) [mrdonkey] i love that song
[samgirlx] i’d better go
(12:50) [mrdonkey] i’m learning to play it on the guitar
[samgirlx] uh…watch out
[samgirlx] former laptop artist andrew coleman
[samgirlx] in collaboration with leafcutter john and the edge
[samgirlx] plays the music of monk
[samgirlx] wish you lived round the corner and we could have quick, focused conversation about shuttles
[samgirlx] maybe with a powerpoint presentaion
[samgirlx] cos I feel a bit like a girl
[samgirlx] who wants a new car
(12:54) [mrdonkey] the shuttle site has lots of info
[samgirlx] its nauseating
(12:54) [mrdonkey] just look up ST20G5
[samgirlx] yeah? but will i understand it
(12:54) [mrdonkey] er, mostly
[samgirlx] OK
(12:54) [mrdonkey] at least you can see how nice and shiny it is
[samgirlx] its more about the config
[samgirlx] cos I haven’t a clue about the bits, more or less
[samgirlx] one motherbaord versus another etc
[samgirlx] fast and shiny, please
[samgirlx] in lemon yellow
(12:56) [mrdonkey] it’s ‘brushed aluminium’
(12:56) [mrdonkey] like a 1970’s stereo
[samgirlx] alright
[samgirlx] awlright!
[samgirlx] wish it had teak effect sides
[samgirlx] like my old DAT
[samgirlx] that died
(12:58) [mrdonkey] yeah, a teak sided shuttle would be ‘the bomb’
[samgirlx] hey guess what? My DV camera magically started working again
(12:58) [mrdonkey] the curse lifted?
(12:58) [mrdonkey] energies shifted?
[samgirlx] like my minidisc player
[samgirlx] i left it alone for ages
[samgirlx] and shazaamm
[samgirlx] recently i keep sitting in cars with people and they won’t start at first
[samgirlx] and the people go “that’s weird”
[samgirlx] “that’s never happened before”
(12:59) [mrdonkey] ;o
[samgirlx] the military should study my brain wave patterns
[samgirlx] maybe i’ve been smoking too long
[samgirlx] once i had a brain scan and I could hear the guys in the booth on headphones (by mistake) and they we’re going “what’s wrong with this damn thing?”
(13:01) [mrdonkey] i can well imagine
[samgirlx] fucked up
(13:01) [mrdonkey] think of it as a special gift
[samgirlx] or a curse, basically
(13:02) [mrdonkey] like a super hero
(13:02) [mrdonkey] with a special power
[samgirlx] yup, voodoo man
[samgirlx] he fucks up your gear
[samgirlx] magically
[samgirlx] with his characteristic exclamation “oh shit…”
(13:04) [mrdonkey] well, at least you’d look good in the costume
[samgirlx] “i’m getting a weird error message…”
(13:04) [mrdonkey] spandex
[samgirlx] yeah a big V
[samgirlx] on the arse seat
(13:06) [mrdonkey] right, i’m going to go and twiddle knobs in a vaguely musical way
[samgirlx] cool. i have 6 days of scooby doo
(13:06) [mrdonkey] i’m really loving ableton live
(13:06) [mrdonkey] more than ever
[samgirlx] let me know if you want me to spend some money
(13:07) [mrdonkey] you should use it on your new machine. i can equip you with a monster sound library
[samgirlx] i did think i ought to look into it again
[samgirlx] what about logic?
[samgirlx] its all i know these days
(13:07) [mrdonkey] i have some serious breaks, drums and sample cds since getting broadband
[samgirlx] and i don’t know much about that
(13:08) [mrdonkey] you wont want to use logic after a bit of time with live
(13:08) [mrdonkey] logic is much harder to use than live
(13:08) [mrdonkey] honest
[samgirlx] can you see your wavs in a linear environment?
(13:08) [mrdonkey] i need to get you and dave together for a live tutorial
(13:08) [mrdonkey] yes, there’s a very good arrange view
[samgirlx] sounds good
[samgirlx] so i can edit and automate just like logic?
(13:09) [mrdonkey] infact, audio is
really fun to use in
live (13:09) [mrdonkey] as you can strech it around very very easily
(13:09) [mrdonkey] and loops will automatically stretch to fit a bpm
(13:10) [mrdonkey] automation is very easy as well
(13:10) [mrdonkey] better than logic
[samgirlx] build me a machine and teach me to use it
[samgirlx] and fix it when it breaks, this is all i ask of you
(13:11) [mrdonkey] lol
(13:11) [mrdonkey] always the optimist
[samgirlx] your curse
[samgirlx] is me
[samgirlx] ……………..ok, i’ll let you go
[samgirlx] i have to write “danger” on a piece of paper for syd

Posted August 24, 2005 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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