“Um Song Index” from 2001   Leave a comment

Just found this Word document from 2001. I’m presuming I actually typed all this lot out:

1. (A Wise Old Queen Once Said To Me) People Are Shits, Darling
2. (An Adolescence Spent Wasted On) Hot Knives & Prog Rock
3. (I Did Nothing But) I Listened (Hideously Distorted Mix)
4. (In Which) I Have A Horrible Dream
5. (On Any) Other Day
6. 08985050
7. 10:27 (Effects On Bass 2nd Mix)
8. 1989 (Tonight I Wanna Party Like It’s)
9. 23-4-97
10. 27
11. 3-Legged Race
12. 57 Seconds Of Techno
13. 8 Arg. Schizo Magnetics
14. 8 People On The Phone
15. A Bad Debt
16. A Bad Time In The Sunshine
17. A Bargain
18. A Boogie Woogie Woogie
19. A Disc Of Flame
20. A Distorted Sense Of Cool
21. A Good Song
22. A Good Song, But A Slow Song
23. A Half-Remembered 70’s Childhood
24. A Lion Family In The Warm Evening Sun
25. A Little Much Apropos Of Nothing
26. A Little Nastiness
27. A Little Ship
28. A Little Westie
29. A Marriage (Made In Arbury)
30. A Matching Pair
31. A Mellow Moment
32. A Middle Class Revenge Tale
33. A Miniature Unhappiness
34. A Nice Day Like This (Fast)
35. A Nice Day Like This (Slow)
36. A Personal Revelation
37. A Quick Little Mulch
38. A Random Approach To Logic (Audio)
39. A Sample (For Later)
40. A Set Of Four Mark E Smiths
41. A Song For Working
42. A Stoned Jam With Some 16 Yr Olds
43. A Stray
44. A Terrible Shame (Bee’s Lament)
45. A Terrible Shame (Bees Lament – Experimental Version)
46. A Tickertape Parade In Your Womb, Baby
47. A Track Which Is Essentially Drums
48. A Walk Thru The Dark
49. A Welcome Rest From Being Normal
50. A Young Person And An Old Person
51. A.W.O.L Soul
52. Aaaaargh!
53. Acid Nightwear
54. Acid Woman
55. Adrenalin Jazz
56. Adventure
57. Agony Of Choice
58. Ain’t Got No Dildos
59. Ain’t Got No Style
60. Albatross
61. Albatross Dub
62. Alien Crash Lands In Amazon
63. Alienated Like Pac-Man
64. All My Old Friends
65. All My Old Friends (Distorted Mix)
66. All Of A Sudden (I Shared His Infuriating Optomism)
67. All Of My Troubles Are Holding Me Down
68. All The Lonely Popstars
69. All Tight
70. All-Fucking-Right!
71. Almost Like A Dog
72. Always Been The Same
73. Amalgam/Why I Didn’t Join Smegma
74. An Address To God
75. An Apology From The Artiste
76. An Hour (Typsically A Spoon)
77. An Invitation To Sign On (Baby Love)
78. Anarchist Shake
79. And He Never Recovered
80. And Jesus Shrugs His Shoulders
81. And Why Am I (The Techno Sound Of Sore Ribs)
82. Annoyed By Your Conception Of Culture
83. Annoyed By Your Slow Remix
84. Annus
85. Another Song I Don’t Remember Doing
86. Around The Harvest Moon
87. Artificial Disco
88. Artificial Disco (Pre Eq Reverb Mix)
89. As Baroque As The Average Sock
90. As Long As Everyone Is Grooving
91. At Last I Am The Unhappy Fool
92. Autumn Leaves (More Or Less Clean Mix)
93. Autumn Leaves (Severely Distorted Mix)
94. Autumn Leaves (Stupid Echo Mix)
95. Avaricious Micro-Funk
96. Awful, Muddy And Sad
97. B.PVC. S. (Reason To The Feet)
98. Baby Monkeys
99. Baby Pressure
100. Bad Day For Love
101. Bad Day For Love (Don’t Go Out)
102. Bad Trip
103. Bad Trip (Late Start Mix)
104. Badfinger (The Bob Song)
105. Ballad For The King
106. Barrett
107. Bass Snippet
108. Beachy Head
109. Beautiful Scottish Chinese Girl
110. Beckett In The 80’s
111. Becoming And Unbecoming
112. Bee Excerpt
113. Bees
114. Being Aware (Cluttered Mix)
115. Being Aware (With Harvey Williams)
116. Bernard The Deserter
117. Better For A Setback
118. Better For A Setback (Fast)
119. Beware
120. Big Tits
121. Billy & The Snoot Monkeys
122. Binky Boo
123. Blair Cake Project
124. Bless My Soul
125. Blip Blop Pop
126. Blipometer
127. Bloodshot Eyes, Nothing To Say
128. Blue Balls
129. Blues Is Shit
130. Bob’s Hell Disco
131. Bobby’s Peanuts
132. Booze Is Shit
133. Bop Pop
134. Boring Sex Theme (The Inexplicable)
135. Born To Lose (Inst)
136. Bowel Kohl Chickie
137. Brain Cells
138. Brain In The Attic
139. Bread Dogs (Captian Beefheart’s Sarcophagus Continues On Its Astral Journey)
140. Breakbeat Nation
141. Brighton Rock
142. Brighton Rock (Remix)
143. Brilliant!
144. British Meat Glows In The Dark
145. Broken Bottles (Shine A Light In The Night)
146. Bullshit Trespass
147. Bullshit Tresspass (Over Silence)
148. Burning Up Fuck All
149. Business Park
150. C’mon Doctor
151. Caked Kuntz!!
152. Camptown Races
153. Can You Feel It?!
154. Can’t Get Started
155. Car!
156. Carburettor
157. Career Guidance
158. Caroline
159. Casio
160. Casiotone
161. Changing Gears (Fucked-Up Tape Mix)
162. Characters (Fast)
163. Characters (Normal)
164. Charlotte
165. Charmless Dub
166. Cheeky Dog (Pete ‘N’ Ed Drunk)
167. Cheezemelt
168. Chef’s Arse
169. Chivalry
170. Chris De Burgh Joins The Newmarket Public Library
171. Christians
172. Christmas ’75
173. Chrome Vagina (It’s Bad It’s Bad)
174. Cipher Dub
175. Circumstance (Random Noise Generator)
176. Clap Trap
177. Clattersnakes
178. Clean People (Of All Things)
179. Clever Clogs
180. Cling
181. Cling (First Mix)
182. Cokane (Rock/We Don’t Stop
183. Cold Forgotten
184. Cold Turkey
185. Combed My Head
186. Come To Bed
187. Come To Bed (DSE Mix)
188. Coming On Weak
189. Coming Up
190. Coming Up (Slower)
191. Commitment (The Song That Doesn’t Work)
192. Common Law Funk
193. Common Law Funk At Speed
194. Communication Breakdown
195. Compression
196. Computers Are Great
197. Confused Thing
198. Confuzed Society
199. Cool Little Torture
200. Co-Op 747
201. Crack Song
202. Crappy DAT Format
203. Crikey
204. Crush Munkies
205. Cryana
206. Cuckoo
207. Cumine’s Patience
208. Cunts
209. Curse The Lazy Air
210. Cutlery
211. Cuttings
212. Dallas Boner Remix
213. Damidged
214. Das Monkeys
215. Days Of Our Lives
216. Daytime Television
217. Daytime Television (Fucked Up Files Mix)
218. Dead Dog On The Motorway
219. Death In Eastbourne
220. Death Song
221. Death Star
222. Death To False Plastic
223. Decadence & Puke
224. Deciders
225. Decimate Me Faster!
226. Decreasing Returns
227. Depressed (Grinding Bastards Mix)
228. Depresseder Than Lou Reed
229. Der Systemm
230. Desert Droid
231. Desperate Days
232. Devils’ Claw (Pop: 15070)
233. Did I Ever Tell You
234. Die Softly And Wait
235. Diogenes
236. Disco Cunts Are Go!
237. Discretion Of The Judge
238. Disillusionment
239. Dithering
240. Do All Cats Go To Heaven When They Die?
241. Do What I Do Dub (NYE)
242. Do You Know What Evil Is?
243. Does The Sperm Know Fear In The Testes Sac (As The Mother And Father Make Love)?
244. Dog’s Song For Himself
245. Dogmonkey Fast
246. Dogs Muck
247. Dogs Speak English
248. Doing The Nasty In The Churchyard
249. Doldrums
250. Dole Brother
251. Doll
252. Don’t Answer The Phone
253. Don’t Be Cruel
254. Don’t Get Pissed
255. Donkey Rock!
256. Dough
257. Down In Our Mouths
258. Downhill/Beachy Head (Version)
259. Dread
260. Dream City (Vocals, No Vocals Mix)
261. Drifting Off The Edge Of The Map
262. Drive-By
263. Drugged Down Into The Mad
264. Drum & Bass
265. Drunken Shame
266. Dutch MTV Starwoman
267. East Anglia (Nosing With Their Tiny Little Teeth)
268. Easy Opportunity For Hostility To Arise
269. Eat The Fickle
270. Education
271. Education (1st Mix)
272. Education (29 Minute Cosmic Mix)
273. Education (Ambient Trains Mix)
274. Education (Be Happy Mix)
275. Education (Mic Out The Window Mix)
276. Egyptians Laughing At You
277. Electric Child Of Suffolk (Ricky Howlett Birthday Song)
278. Electronic Healing (Following Cycle Accident)
279. Emily
280. Encroaching
281. Endless Pain
282. Energy
283. Ether
284. Every Night Ends Like This
285. Everybody’s Out To Get Me
286. Everything Is Fixed
287. Eveyones’s Got A Bit Of Latin In Them
288. Exercises
289. Extreme Noise Narge
290. E-Zee
291. F.D.M. Time To Get A Job (Remix)
292. Face Of A Degenerate
293. Factory
294. Faffing ‘Cos You’re Heartbroken
295. Failure And How It Made Me
296. Failure, Depression, Madness (Time To Get A Job Unending Mix)
297. Family Of Noiz
298. Fancy Lady
299. Fark
300. Fast Little Train On Acid
301. Fat Fucking Freaks
302. Fear Jazz
303. Fen Bennie
304. Fiddley Ned
305. Fiesta!
306. Fiesta! (Distorted Mix)
307. Fiesta! (Fast Instrumental)
308. Fiesta! (Instrumental)
309. Fiesta! (Slow Instrumental)
310. Fiesta! (V. Slow Echo Mix)
311. Filipino Whore
312. Flaps Receiving Action
313. Flipping Hell
314. Flipping Hell (Hideous Nihilist Version)
315. For All The Singers
316. For The Wilderness (20 Days & 20 Nights)
317. Foreigner
318. Forever
319. Forever An Amateur
320. Freakout!
321. Freedom 2b Free
322. Frog (Acceptable Mix)
323. Frog (Fast Tiger-Coaxing Stupidity Version)
324. Frog (Instrumental)
325. Frogs In A French Kitchen
326. Frozen Electronics
327. Fuck Me Johnny
328. Fuck On
329. Fuck Up
330. Funk Rat 1
331. Funny Time
332. Futility Rocks
333. Gary Doesn’t Live Here Any More
334. Gaucho
335. Generic Breakbeat Stoner Music
336. Gentle
337. Geraniums
338. Get A Life
339. Ghost In The Machine
340. Ghost Pulse
341. Giant Killing
342. Give Me My Moment
343. Give The English More Violence
344. Glastonbury
345. Glurk!
346. God Bless The Unemployed
347. God Song
348. Godalming
349. Good Grief
350. Goodness
351. Goodnight Sweetheart
352. Grand
353. Greenland
354. Grey Lady Ice
355. Grown Up Wrong
356. Guess My Sex (Hip Whore)
357. Guitar Solo Expt.
358. Half Hour (I Wish I Went To Art School)
359. Half-Cut Aquabots
360. Hands In My Pockets
361. Happiness Is Sacred
362. Happy Families
363. Happy IT Professionals
364. Hard Drive (Crash Mix)
365. Hard Drive (Sweep Mix)
366. Hard Drive (Victory Mix)
367. Hard On In Lancey Street
368. Hardcore!
369. Hardcore! (Chuckle Mix)
370. Harry Munny
371. Harry Munny Remix
372. Hate Week
373. Have You Ever Been Lonely?
374. Have You Ever Been Lonely? (Small Mix)
375. He May Be Dead But He’s Fast
376. Heavy Metal?
377. Hecticity
378. Hell Is Closed
379. Help! Let It Be Whole!
380. Hendrix At Home
381. Hendrix At Home (Uncut Vocals Mix)
382. Her Sass
383. Here Come The Cunty Boys
384. Here I Am
385. Heroes
386. Hertfordshire
387. Hertfordshire
388. Hey You
389. Hinged
390. His Dream Restaurant
391. His Infuriating Optimism
392. Hold Your Course
393. Holy Fire
394. Homunculus
395. Hope
396. Hostile Possibilities Remix Compressed
397. Hostile Possibilities Remix Slow
398. Hot And Sad
399. Housekeys
400. How Can I Work When The Phone Keeps Ringing?
401. How Flying Machines Have Changed Man’s Perspective Forever
402. How I Almost Bust My Microphone
403. How It Goes
404. Hubris
405. Hum
406. Human Biology
407. Hungover Mistake
408. Hut Alarm
409. Hut Alarm (Gated Reverb Mix)
410. Hyperspeed Nutters Go Mental
411. I Am A Teenager
412. I Am Always Here (1st Mix)
413. I Am Always Here (Second Dumb Mix)
414. I Am In Love With Myself
415. I Can’t Even Begin
416. I Can’t Speak The Language Of Myself
417. I Don’t Hate You For Your Nastiness
418. I Don’t Know My Name
419. I Don’t Know My Name (Fast)
420. I Don’t Know My Name (Slow)
421. I Don’t Live Today
422. I Don’t Need It As Long As I Can See It
423. I Don’t Want To Be “Good”
424. I Get This Urge To Leave
425. I Love Jazz
426. I Love Little Moles
427. I Love You (But That’s Not Why I’m Singing This Song)
428. I Love You In Any Language (Late Night Desperation)
429. I Make Weird Music
430. I May Yet Live
431. I Must Remember That Last Time Is Going To Be The Last Time
432. I Need A Special One
433. I Only Want To Do My Style
434. I Ran Out Of Fuel
435. I Really Ought To Take Myself In Hand
436. I Want To Wear My New Shoes In Bed
437. I Was Too Caned To Talk To Your Mum
438. I Wish I Had New Ears
439. I Wish That Wolves Still Roamed
440. I’m A Hard Man
441. I’m A Loser
442. I’m Bored Of This Party
443. I’m Bored Of This Party (Instrumental)
444. I’m Crazy
445. I’m Far Too Cool To Work
446. I’m Like You
447. I’m Not OK (Fast)
448. I’m Not Ok (Slow)
449. I’m The Son Of
450. I’m The Son Of (Fast)
451. I’m Too Short (The Truth Will Stay In Tonight)
452. I’m Very Depressed
453. I’ve Lost My Faith (Rock ‘N’ Roll Is Boring)
454. If It Gets Any Worse Then Just Stop
455. If They Think They Have Me Beat
456. If They Think They Have Me Beat (Slow)
457. If You Knew Where You Were
458. Impington (A Call From Art)
459. Improptu Weirdness
460. Improvisation For A Friend
461. In The Doghouse
462. In The Summertime In England
463. Incidental Bins
464. Incomprehension
465. Inevitable Drinking Scenarios
466. Inn Sign Swing
467. Innocence
468. Insect Bordello
469. Interrupted Cleverness
470. Interrupted Dead Fish
471. Intro
472. Ironic
473. Is Your Cock Happy Now Sir?
474. It
475. It Doesn’t Take A Man To Understand
476. It Is Me (Distortion Mix)
477. It Used To Be Better (Me Old Boys)
478. It’s A Beautiful Noise
479. It’s A Funny Time
480. It’s Not Too Late For Me To Go
481. It’s Time To Get A Job
482. Je Ne Sais Quoi
483. Jesus & The Germans
484. Jesus Was A Pro
485. Jesus’ Blood (Glockenspiel Mix)
486. Jesus’ Blood (Truly, Madly, Deeply Unhappy)
487. Jew
488. Jobseeker (Daft Cunt)
489. Jonah
490. Journey To The Moon
491. Jungle James
492. Just Like Kurt
493. Just When You Think You’re Getting Somewhere
494. Kalahari
495. Kawai Rain Temple
496. Keith
497. Killer Sound
498. Know Thine Enemy
499. Kold Sun
500. Kool Star (Hidden Vocal Mix)
501. Kool Star (Phone Mix)
502. Kool Star (Vocals Mix)
503. Krash
504. L.S.D Know The Score
505. La La Larry
506. La Niz Track
507. La Pissyfreak
508. Ladies (Kill Yourself Music)
509. Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Driving Through London/Please Look At The Job Boards
510. Ladies Dub
511. Lancey Street
512. Lancey Street Remix
513. Landfish
514. Landfish (Pristine Mix)
515. Large Mexican Aliens (Slow)
516. Lasagne
517. Last Second Of The Year (Fast)
518. Last Song I Ever Did In Cubase
519. Lay Down, Lay Down
520. Le Misery
521. Leader With The Wrong Chains On
522. Leaf Green, Cliff Richard, Friendly Ladies
523. Leak (What Hath God…)
524. Lekgoa
525. Lemmings
526. Less Is More
527. Let Michael Enter
528. Let’s Crack On
529. Let’s Drown
530. Let’s Get To Business
531. Lethe
532. Life Is A Laugh (Short & Proper Mix)
533. Life Is A Laugh (Slow Mix)
534. Life Is Short, Life Is Long
535. Life’s For Living, Death’s For Being Dead
536. Lindy
537. Lions
538. Little Ant
539. Little Fark
540. Little Jonah
541. Little Secrets In Reverse
542. Live A Little
543. Live Without Yr Dreams
544. Livin’ In The City
545. Living Each Day At A Time (Edit)
546. Living In A New Place Is Impossible
547. Living Well And Good
548. Local Boy
549. Long Drone From Nowhere
550. Looking At The Future (Corporate Dictatorship)
551. Love A’ Gonna Do It
552. Love Can Do It To You
553. Love Is A System (Delicious Mix)
554. Love Is Everywhere (Except In My Head)
555. Love Is Like An Angel (Eyore Mix)
556. Love Is Like An Angel (Passing Over All These Evil Energies I Have)
557. Lovesex
558. Lucky Star
559. Lucy Waits, And She Don’t Care
560. Ma
561. Magick Boots
562. Mahavishnu Phil Fisher
563. Make It
564. Male And Female Guitar
565. Male Thought Process
566. Malfunction (On Alcohol)
567. Mating (Slack Occasion)
568. Maytime (Slow Pointless Mix)
569. Me And Barkly On The Roof Of The JCB
570. Me And You
571. Mice Livin’ In The City
572. Mice Pleasures
573. Midi
574. Millenium
575. Millenium Daftness
576. Minimal Skirt
577. MOMmed Live A Little
578. MOMmed The Crasher
579. Money In My Shoes
580. Monkey Tree/UTC Peacekeeper
581. Monody
582. Moonflesh/Family Of Noiz
583. Mother O
584. Mother O (Second Mix)
585. Mouse Out-Take
586. Mrs. Bovary
587. Mulch Song
588. Mulch Song 2 (You)
589. Murawowa
590. Mushrooms, Alcohol, Reverb
591. Music For Adverts
592. Music For One Cd Player (Trussed Yaks)
593. Music For Pleasure
594. Must Have Met My Love (Fucked-Up Mix)
595. My Beautiful Liver
596. My Beautiful Slow Caking Liver
597. My Ever-Changing Moods
598. My Glorious Unhappiness
599. My Greek Ballet Guinea-Pig
600. My Lords, Ladies And Men
601. My Love Is Such A Waste Of Time
602. My Mind Must Shine
603. My Moth Is A Mouth
604. My Moth Is A Mouth (Fast)
605. My Mother’s Boyfriend’s 4-Track (Making Noise Quietly)
606. My Muse Done Left Me And I Don’t Give A Fuck
607. My Name Is Monkey
608. My Quicked-Up Liver
609. My Treasured Sense Of Failure
610. Mystery Hard-Disk Drone
611. Naïve Techno
612. Nasty Drunk Welsh Wales
613. Nausea (Fiesta! Version)
614. Needlenose (Untamed Mix)
615. Neptune’s Chains
616. Never Work (Unless You Have To)
617. New Hat
618. New Year’s Eve Epic
619. Newspaper (My Heart Feels Like A Pair Of Shoes)
620. Nice Chains
621. Night Of The Living Dead Breakdancers
622. Nine Inch Snails
623. Nippy Slayer
624. Nippy Slayer
625. No Matter What You Tell Me
626. No Really, I’m Fine
627. No Stylophone Mother
628. Nodding
629. Now That’s What I Call Hardcore
630. Number Two
631. Nx
632. O My Spanish Love (Fast)
633. O My Spanish Love (Normal)
634. O My Spanish Love!
635. Oh Angela
636. Oh My Goodness
637. Oh Woe
638. Oh Yeah
639. Oh Yup Yup
640. Old Man Looking At A Fat Girl’s Legs
641. One More Song
642. One More Song 2
643. One-Two Fuck-You
644. Oscar Little Train
645. Our Beleaguered Royal Family
646. Our Dog Is Dead (Show Me The Range Rover)
647. Our Perfect Moment
648. Our Price
649. Outward Journeys (Curteiled Edit)
650. Ovation
651. P.G Theme (Shite)
652. Paddling In Shallow Disaster
653. Pangs (Pastorale 4)
654. Panic Attack
655. Paperman
656. Paperman At Play
657. Paperman Fast
658. Paranormal Wales
659. Party Music
660. Pastorale
661. People Call It Dope
662. People Call It Dope (Fast)
663. People Don’t Listen To Your Lyrics
664. People Need Metal
665. Perhaps I Should Be…
666. Persecution Complex
667. Perverse
668. Pete ‘N’ Rob Remixed (Jones Fuckup)
669. Peter Gregory Theme
670. Peter Gregory: Rock Warrior
671. Peter Pop And Rob G Jamming Like The Rock Dogs They Are
672. Pick It Up Peter
673. Pigs By Me
674. Pinch
675. Pioneer (Long Stupid Mix)
676. Pioneer (Long, Fucked-Up Mix)
677. Pioneer (Stereo Spread Mix)
678. Pissabout One
679. Pissed-Up Regret Song
680. Pissyfreak Pitched
681. Pitchee Little Train
682. Pixellated Idle Days
683. Plaster Saint (If I Was Midge Ure)
684. Plooty (Molepolole)
685. Plucky Little Train
686. Plucky Train (Sad Day)
687. Pointless Interlude
688. Pop Music
689. Pop Music (Why Am I Here)?
690. Posse In A Fat Man
691. Possession
692. Pot-Holing
693. Practical Attitude Adjustment Plan
694. Pressure On My Precious
695. Problems
696. Psychoanalysis
697. Punitive
698. Purple
699. Pussface/Mortal Jim Reeves
700. Pussyfooting
701. Put Together
702. Pvc Song For The Ex’s New Son
703. Pygmy Song
704. Quck Simple Song
705. R.Um
706. Radio
707. Radio Inactivity
708. Radio Intro – When It Comes To Art
709. Rake
710. Rake Dub
711. Rat Race In Reverse
712. Ratcatcher
713. Ratfunk 2
714. Real Drill & Bass (Bass Unavailable)
715. Real Drill (And Bass)
716. Recuperation
717. Red Dog Dodger
718. Refraction
719. Regarding Sex
720. Remaindered
721. Repetition (Ain’t All Its Cracked Up To Be)
722. Rich Got Scabies
723. Richard Brown
724. Rinsed
725. Rinsed (2nd Mix)
726. Rock It (180 BPM Mix)
727. Rock It (Pointless Ambient Mix)
728. Rock Me Like A Bag
729. Rook
730. Rub You In The Dirt
731. Run To Remember
732. Run To Remember/Last Time The Last Time
733. Sad Robots (Quick, I’m Off Down The Pub Mix)
734. Sallow
735. Sandra
736. Saner Comma Cain
737. Satanic Interlude
738. Save The Last Dance For Me
739. Sayonara (Don’t Belong To You)
740. Scaler Twolast – Veins (Jagging)
741. Schizophonic
742. Scotland
743. Scythe
744. Sea Shanty
745. Secrets In Reverse
746. See The Monkey Get Hurt
747. See The Monkey Get Hurt (Full On Mix)
748. Seeing Her Off
749. Sell-Out Beats
750. September Song
751. Servile Civis
752. Shallow Reports
753. Shame Theme
754. Shared House
755. Shared House Mix
756. She Made Dent A Dying Doctor
757. Shit At Sport
758. Shit Happens
759. Shoes)
760. Shrunk Planet
761. Shut My Face (Endless Mix)
762. Shut My Face (Truncated Mix)
763. Sick And Ill And Feverish
764. Silly Popstar Wanker
765. Sillypopstarwanker
766. Simmer
767. Simmer (Final Long Ambient Mix)
768. Simmer (First Mix)
769. Simple Pleasures
770. Sin
771. Sin (2nd Mix – Some Vocals, Some Bass Distorted)
772. Sin I’m In
773. Singalonga Blood Corpuscle
774. Singers Are Wankers
775. Sinister Beatbox
776. Sink, Dive, Freeze
777. Sinster Miniature
778. Skag Monkeys
779. Skat
780. Sketch
781. Sketches Of Pain
782. Skuffo Geig
783. Slayer
784. Slow Donkey Element
785. Slow Monkeys
786. Slow Secrets In Reverse
787. Sluggish Blood
788. Small Mexican Aliens (Fast)
789. Smiling
790. Snafoo
791. Snippet
792. Snoopy
793. So Many Things (I Would Have Done)
794. So Pained
795. So They Administered Drugs To Control His State Of Mind
796. So We’ll Go No More A’ Roving
797. So…
798. Soft
799. Some Kind Of Weird Funk
800. Some Music, Basically
801. Some Scrapie Crash Thing
802. Someone Left The Machines On
803. Son Of A Gun
804. Song For Robert (Not Rob G)
805. Song For The Ex’s New Baby (Normal)
806. Soon I Promise
807. Sorrow For One Who Did Not Give A Shit
808. Sorry About Last Night
809. Soul In My Pocket
810. Soul Shoes
811. Sound Memory
812. Soviet Mofos
813. Spanish Richard
814. Spare Love Song (Baby Song)
815. Spasm Chasm
816. Spee (Fast)
817. Spee (Normal)
818. Speed
819. Spiders Inside Us
820. Spinning Thru Yr Mind
821. Splendori
822. Spoilsport Sam
823. Spready Reggae (We Start Alone)
824. Sprite
825. Squibbler/The Bee Is Me
826. Squiddler
827. St. John’s Techno
828. Stagnant
829. Standard Dictionary Of Sadness
830. Stardom Is My Birthright
831. Staring Into Thin Air
832. Starmulch
833. Stay Hungry (Initail Mix)
834. Stay On Grey
835. Still (All My Addresses)
836. Still Trying To Be More Like People Like Us
837. Stoopid Song
838. Stop Pissing Around (Fast)
839. Stop Pissing Around (Slow)
840. Strange Line
841. Stress Is Fun
842. Stuck In A Cool Scene
843. Stupid, Stupid Love
844. Styx Rowboat Song
845. Subliminal Um Mantra
846. Suffering (Blank, Hating, Moonstruck)
847. Supernatural Crash
848. Surveillance
849. Sweet Empress
850. Take Your Mind Off
851. Ted Turner Vs. Jane Fonda
852. Telling Lies To The Monkey Inspector
853. Temple Gongs
854. The 9 To 5
855. The Amnion
856. The Amusements
857. The Angel Of Darkness
858. The Association Of Old Women From The North Of England
859. The Atomic Bomb
860. The Beans Of Production
861. The Bedpan
862. The Bee Is Him (My Brother)
863. The Bender
864. The Benefit Of The People (Click Mix)
865. The Biological Brothers
866. The Bodies Were Found At The Cocacabana
867. The Bugger
868. The Bumpy Road
869. The Bumpy Road (2nd Mix)
870. The City Doesn’t Care If You’re Falling Asleep
871. The Clanker
872. The Complete Journeys Of Jonah
873. The Crasher
874. The Devil Laughs To See Me Mope About
875. The Discretion Of The Judge Will Remain
876. The Drunken Sound Of A Funky Man
877. The Durham Ox (2nd Mix – More Drums)
878. The Eclipse
879. The Elephant Of Sadness
880. The End
881. The End Of A Relationship And The Beginning Of A Nervous Breakdown
882. The Enormous Invisble Sound System
883. The Exceptionally Fast Bob
884. The First Great Crap Song
885. The Garden Is An Absolute Jungle
886. The German People
887. The Glamorous Life Of An Alcoholic
888. The Gregory Singers
889. The Hilton Fuck-Up
890. The Holes
891. The Host
892. The House Is Shit And Cold Pts 1 & 2
893. The Human Species
894. The Hungover Monkey
895. The Inevitable
896. The Last Second Of The Year
897. The Last Song I Ever Did In Cubase
898. The Last Thing The World Needs Is Another DJ
899. The Last Thing The World Needs Is Another DJ (Bad Mix Mix)
900. The Last Thing You Need Is A Good Plan
901. The Little Monkeys Were So Sure
902. The Mad Scientist (Who Invented White People)
903. The Messenger
904. The Mighty Remix
905. The Mighty Suburbs
906. The Miner’s Strike
907. The Mistaken
908. The Monkeys Were So Sure
909. The Moron’s Tragedy
910. The Most Incredible Sound I’ll Ever See (Jazzing With My Mind)
911. The Mouse Song
912. The Musician
913. The Mysterious Urinator
914. The Mysterious Urinator/I Don’t Know My Name (Fast)
915. The Neurotic
916. The Nobility In Narcotics
917. The Obvious Disease
918. The Obvious Disease In Dub
919. The Only Way Is Up
920. The Package
921. The Passion Of Richard Rippin (Here We Are Again)
922. The Path That Runs Through My Head Leads To The Dole Office
923. The Pianoman
924. The Proof Is In The Bullshit
925. The Punisher
926. The Refined Fuckwit
927. The Relentlessness
928. The Reply
929. The Restaurant Of His Nightmares
930. The Same Cause
931. The Scientists
932. The Sludgers Encounter A Problem
933. The Smits
934. The Sneak
935. The Solace Afforded By A Comfortless Place
936. The Sound Of The Machines That We Use To Make Our Music
937. The Sound Of Weasels
938. The Stroker
939. The Stroker (Oscar Version)
940. The Swelling Of Confusion
941. The Techno Sound Of Sore Ribs
942. The Terrible Dogmonkey
943. The Torment Of St. Pete (Basic Mix)
944. The Trouble With Having A Dream
945. The U.K Marketplace
946. The Voyeur
947. The Way America Was Born And The Way It Was Meant To Be
948. The Willow Animal & Its Origins
949. The Word Is Out (Finnish Forest
950. Theme For A Fool
951. Theme For A Fucked-Up State Of Mind
952. Theme For A Skateboard Accident
953. Theme For A Small Japanese Electronic Device
954. Theme For A Young Black Alien Christ
955. Theme For Something That Happened Rather Too Quickly
956. There Goes My Pop Career
957. There Is No Excuse In A World Grown Sick Of Excuses
958. There’s A Book On Contemporary Art I Never Read
959. Never Read
960. These Days Mulch
961. They’ve Got The Guns, We’ve Got The Drugs
962. This Dreadful Life
963. This Is How I Feel
964. This Is The Remix They Also Used To Funk To
965. This Is The Sound Of Me Slowly Becoming An Artist In Mor
966. This Is The Sound They Used To Funk To
967. This Is The Way We Do It
968. This Is Wrong
969. This Morning (And Every Other Fucking Morning)
970. This Will Sort Out The Boys Who Like This Sort Of Thing From The Other Boys
971. Those Days
972. Throwing Sevens
973. Tickling The Anus (Scenarios)
974. Till The Break Of Dawn (Fast)
975. Till The Break Of Dawn (Normal)
976. Time Has Ended, That’s It (Short Mix)
977. Time Laspse Leeds At Night
978. Tin Can Jams
979. To Attack Or To Decay, That Is The Question
980. To Have Push
981. To Shape My Life
982. To Shape My Life (Final Mix)
983. To Try And Make It Alright
984. Toby Mills Birthday Song
985. Toby’s Loop
986. Tony Blair
987. Too English (Friday 13th)
988. Too Much Of A Shit Thing
989. Tortoise Race
990. Transmission
991. Trash My Hate
992. Trazz
993. Tricky Type
994. Trying To Be More Like People Like Us
995. Turned Against Oneself
996. Turned Against Oneself (The Inexplicable)
997. Twice Shy
998. Twiddlers
999. Two Hearts In Stereo
1000. Two Songs That Got Mixed Up
1001. Uh…What’s That?
1002. Um Intro Tune
1003. Um Mania
1004. Um Mania Turns Nasty
1005. Um Manifesto
1006. Under The Tundra
1007. Under Water (Underwater Mix)
1008. Underwater (Sir Nose Mix)
1009. Underwater 2
1010. Unemployment Rock
1011. Unimportance
1012. Uninterrupted Dead Fish
1013. Untitled
1014. Untitled (Sear)
1015. Valentine
1016. Very Bad Karma
1017. Very Drunk, Tired, & Melancholic
1018. Vexation In The Sludge
1019. Volcano
1020. Waiters
1021. Walter Bison, Terry Biscuits
1022. Walter Bison, Terry Biscuits (90 Seconds Version)
1023. Walter Bison, Terry Biscuits (Fast)
1024. Want It
1025. Washington (A New Little Mulching)
1026. Waster
1027. We All Stuck Together In The War
1028. We Are Mice
1029. We Are The Fuckers
1030. We Are The Ones
1031. We’re Gonna Have A Real Cool Time Tonight
1032. We’re Gonna Have A Real Cool Time Tonight (Fast)
1033. We’re Gonna Have A Real Cool Time Tonight (Slow)
1034. Welcome Children
1035. Welsh Wales
1036. What Am I Supposed To Do?
1037. What Is Art, After All?
1038. What? (Shit Instrumental Mix)
1039. What’s The Point?
1040. When Your Teeth Stop Grinding And It’s 7AM
1041. Where Am I
1042. Where Did You Sleep Last Night
1043. Where Did Your Youth Go (Andy Matthew’s Birthday Song)
1044. Where Does Religion Come From?
1045. Where Is My Motivation
1046. Where Is The Proof That I Am Not Mad
1047. Who Can Kool My Head?
1048. Who Puts The Nastiness In People?
1049. Why Are We Living (In A World So Cruel)?
1050. Why Does Your Mother Cry?
1051. Why I Hate The Theatre
1052. Why My Art Will Forever Remain Untainted By Economic Considerations
1053. Widder
1054. Wilderness In Reverse
1055. Windhoek
1056. Windhoek (Everyone’s A Fool Mix)
1057. Witchdoctor
1058. Women’s Knows
1059. Work (Tweaked Mix)
1060. Work Makes You Free
1061. Working And Not Working
1062. Working At Home
1063. World War One
1064. Worm Brain (Rob Gregory B. 1981)
1065. Worse For Wear On New Year’s Eve
1066. Wreckuiem
1067. Wunder Why
1068. Ya Buzzer
1069. Ya Want Some?
1070. Ya Want Some? (Dumb Reversed Version)
1071. Yamaharumph
1072. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
1073. You Are Stuck Inside Yourself
1074. You Have To Learn How To Act
1075. You Were Not The One That We Called Real
1076. You Will Like Me (Crawling Death Dub Mix)
1077. You Will Like Me (Nippy Ska Version)
1078. You Will Like Me (Nippy Version)
1079. You Will Like Me (Space Dub Version)
1080. You Will Never Let Me Fall
1081. You Will Never Let Me Fall (Slow)
1082. You’re Dead And I Feel Like Paul Mccartney
1083. Your Feelings Are Your Clothes
1084. Your Morning Has Come
1085. Yow Dow Da Da
1086. Yr Indie-Mom (With Badger Mayhem)
1087. Zombie

Posted June 3, 2015 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

L’étranger Création Musique Show #332   Leave a comment

Sometimes I think I wouldn’t have the massive Belgian fanbase I mysteriously enjoy without good ole Gil Lotrem, who recently convincingly detourned an unnoticed pile of Soundcloudy dumpings into an almost worryingly Pete-centric albeit post-economic signal-salad, which I thought was actually pretty good.

PLAYLIST

1. Claire Potter & Bridget Hayden – Ste’s Face is Full
mp3 from ‘Mother To No Swimming Laughing Child’ cassette / digital (Fort Evil Fruit, Ireland) 2015
2. Pete Um – Casiotone (Loud Vox Version)
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
3. Dead Peoples Records – 11am
mp3 from FMA, 2015
4. Pete Um – Chung
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
5. Experiments With Ice – The Definition (Of Culture)
from S/T LP (Experimental Records, UK) 1981
6. Graham Lambkin & Michael Pisaro – Leuchtfeuer
from ‘Schwarze Riesenfalter’ CD (Erstwhile, USA) 2015
7. Jeffrey Alexander – Genie
mp3 from ‘Floating Lights’ net release, USA, 2015
8. Pete Um – Cocaine Jihad (In My Pain)
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
9. Vasilisk – The Core of Africa and In Dying Is All
from ‘Liberation and Ecstasy’ LP (Musica Maxima Magnetic, Italy) 1990
10. Pete Um – Coleman Helpdesk
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
11. Claire Potter & Bridget Hayden – Still Woman Cold
mp3 from ‘Mother To No Swimming Laughing Child’ cassette / digital (Fort Evil Fruit, Ireland) 2015
12. Pete Um – Concorde
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
13. Mink – Now I Remember Why I Hate You
mp3 from S/T net release, 1994
14. Pete Um – Conformist Zombie Fuckwits
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
15. Dino DiMuro – another social services provider mp3
from ‘Dino DiMuro “56” Outtakes And More’ net release, 2014
16. Pete Um – Cassette Two
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
17. Path To Lobster Believers – Sinkie Vatory face\\\Orled First Match Your Festival Everen-Amen Doesn’t (Part 2)
from ‘Gorgeous Morpheus/Path To Lobster Believers’ net release (Swamp Circle, USA) 2015
18. Pete Um – Chinese Holiday
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
19. Maile Colbert – Doors and Doors and Corridors
mp3 from ‘Siebzehn bis ∞’ net release (Crónica, Portugal) 2015
20. Pete Um – Christ’s Tounge
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015
21. Pete Um – Chick Peak Korea (14_30_to_15_06)
mp3 from artist’s Soundcloud, 2015

Interjections and Overlays courtesy of:

Shortwave radio scanning across the dial

Ludo Mich and Koen Boyden – The Interviews
mp3 from ‘Jaan Patterson and Friends – ‘The Interviews’ Vol.3′ net release, 2015

Posted May 28, 2015 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

The Roaring Jester   Leave a comment

My pal Taren McCallan-Moore, the artist that did the cover art for Babysitting The Apocalypse, kindly wrote a blog post about Contempt, for which I am very grateful etc.

I first arrived in Cambridge in 1982 and in 1986 I moved to London. Years later, in Cambridge once again during the late Nineties or very early Noughties, I remember a curious sense of familiarity meeting Pete. I reasoned that during those early years I spent in Cambridge we must have crossed paths somewhere at a party or a pub. Perhaps we’d just seen each other marching to and fro along Mill Road. But when did I first hear Pete’s music?

I remember spending time with him filling biodegradable packets of muesli at the Arjuna health foods warehouse where we both worked for a time. One day, after Pete had introduced me to Vicki Bennett’s’, ‘People Like Us’, I went home and found his music online.

As a poet he’s a lyricist scraping nails across the blackboard, hammering his ambiguous oratory upon the asylum’s panopticon and alerting the lunatics within.

Much has been written about Pete Um online and in print, offering the surreal, informed and sometimes mellifluous treatises of analysis that he deserves. He has been a staple of the Cambridge underground for many years and if I were tentatively to offer some musical comparisons, I might mention Ivor Cutler, The Residents, Beck, Captain Beefheart, Harco Pront, Lone Pigeon and Gary Wilson. His performances are unpretentiously eccentric and even brave; there is an ad hoc video of Pete performing ‘Holy Fire’ using a beat box upon Midsummer Common at the end of Cambridge’s annual Strawberry Fair in 2004 – a performance wherein, like Antonin Artaud’s Theatre of Cruelty, the safe distance between himself and the audience almost collapses into brutality. The video for ‘Grow To Her’, from 2012’s, Babysitting The Apocalypse, stands in my humble opinion as one of the most moving declarations of love.

As a sound artist, his use of instrumentation is a technique of disquieting polyrhythm, carved from an assembly of subtractive synthesis, ripped from comfort and expectant staccato into an orchestra pit of seizures.

Artfully mastered, Contempt, has at its core a chaos that generates a glorious order. The form has a smooth analogue curve, seemingly uninterrupted by the minutiae of crude digital stepping; Voltage Controlled Oscillators like wet skin slip on enamel. The human voice lilts as if singing nursery rhyme, shanty, bar song or mantra. Sometimes you’re whispered to; an intimate share in significant furies and cheeky pop tropes, – ‘Yeah man, alright!’ he swaggers satirically on ‘Zen And The Teapot.’ Beat box drum, garage pump, playful and endlessly creative like a child left alone with cutlery, Contempt’s clattering sonar is an elegant present for the trained ear, the lover of indeterminate sync.

Like a wicker man shanty before the pyre, a lament, a shivering prophesy: ‘It’s like life is the biggest of bummers, when you’re caught with both feet in the past. I can see just where I came from, but I don’t have a clue where I’m going. Its the same song sung through the ages, death needs time for what it kills to grow in, death needs time for what it kills to grow in, death needs time for what it kills to grow in.’ – ‘Death Needs Time’.

The tracks are short, economical and absolute, careful and koanic doses without the drip fat of the languorous; a crisp defence against excess.

In ‘The Rebel’, the final track on the album, Pete nods to the film of the same title starring Tony Hancock, an anti-establishment gig about a downtrodden office clerk. Hancock’s daubing, naif autodidact becomes a fraud by accident in Paris when a friend’s artwork, considered better than his, is confused with his own. Taking his leave of the art world Hancock says, ‘I know what I was cut out to do and I should have done it long ago. YOU’RE ALL RAVING MAD!! None of you know what you’re looking at. You wait ’til I’m dead, you’ll see I was right!’ Is this Pete’s morbid and self-deprecating vision of an epitaph?

In 2002, The London School of Pataphysics, recreated Hancock’s fictional works and displayed them in a show called, ‘Anthony Hancock Paintings and Sculptures.’ Pataphysics, as Alfred Jarry explained it, is ‘the science of imaginary solutions, which symbolically attributes the properties of objects, described by their virtuality to their lineaments…’ Unable to escape the tautological bindings of the Spectacle, in that ‘The true is a moment of the false,’ Guy Debord’s description of a ‘victorious and spectacular real as unreal, where nothing is, until it appears within the Spectacle itself, even if in that moment of its appearance it would lose what ever reality it held,’ goes some way towards describing the sonic situation Pete identifies and opposes. In paraphrase of Jarry’s post-metaphysical phenomena, Jean Baudrillard wrote that ‘Pataphysics is a science, albeit one with an aesthetic sensibility; it regards “humour” and “the serious” with the same imperturbable gaze.’ This strategy, I believe, though devised in an attempt to resist omnipotent commodification in the realm of images, is at the heart of Pete’s musical world; a resounding critique of the contemporary sonic Moebius Strip – charged with poignant Pataphysical contempt.

‘Me and you, we do what we do, don’t be a moral slob. We make our lives, with forks and knives, we eat reality raw. Do it yourself. Everybody needs themself.’ – ‘Them Self’.

And there is the spirit of Jarry’s Ubu Roi in Pete’s work, the precursor to the Theatre of The Absurd and Surrealism, the antithesis to the Spectacle with which Pete satirises the complacent Bourgeoisie and the abuses of authority flaunted to engender success. Such piercing critique is an illustrious flame passed from hand to hand by those wise enough to carry it, and assuredly Contempt brandishes that visionary torch.

Pete Ums, Contempt, is available now in digital and limited edition vinyl from Bandcamp. If you’re in Cambridge, you can buy the round plastic version with a hole from Relevant Records.

With thanks to Alex Dougherty.

Posted May 19, 2015 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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Pete Um Soundcloud Dump   1 comment

If I had the time ‘n’ energy I’d write something about how Our Rich is dumping his old shit on Soundcloud and be weirdly fanboyish about it in an irritatingly pretentious way, as though in some way it’s mainly about me. Talking of which, AFX’s example has inspired me to uh… led me to copy it, obviously. Unfortunately, perhaps, no fan (because: no fans) is going to pay for a Pro Unlimited for me so I’ve only been able to take a tiny percentage from the folder called “um_motherlode”. I was going to do it alphabetically but I got hung up on whether I should start with tracks with numerals at the start of the title. In the end I picked songs starting with the letter C, and the 180 minutes limit was only enough for half of them. As it stands “um_motherlode” has 2676 files comprising 63.1GB of data, but it isn’t actually the sum total of all the funny music I’ve done, just because archiving sensibly is a complex pain in the arse. Some stuff never made it off cassettes, some data couldn’t be retrieved from shitty CD-Rs, some music only exists in project files so there is no mixdown, and finally I don’t think I’ve added anything to the motherlode for the last few years, as having one massive folder with all your music is an incredibly daft and impractical way of storing it. Although I will admit to having some remaining (albeit laughably-reduced) ambitions for my music, I still basically make it because I like doing it, and I still like it when I’ve done it, generally. This factor sometimes forms an allegiance with my innate fucking slackness, my addled fuzzy brain, my defining sense of doubt, my fear to succeed, etc etc etc, to engender a pathologically indisciplined way of producing stuff. And I suppose it’s an aesthetic I subscribe to or whatever. So, in contrast to, say, Richard, whose less-inspired and perhaps unfinished tracks uploaded to Soundcloud still benefit hugely from an unmistakable ear for melody and rhythm and a thorough understanding of compostion and arrangement, a substantial amount of my recorded music is either a sketch or a sketch with a bit of work. Equally, a lot of it is the result of many hours of detailed edits, but that’s kind of another story. So, to shoot this convoluted snake of an explanation dead with the pellet gun of lucidity: I have uploaded a load of tracks to Soundcloud, have a look if you like. I will try and make them all downloadable as soon as I get a minute innit. Still some physical product available via Bandcamp.

Posted May 19, 2015 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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03.08.14 – Pete Um, Mad Professor, Algérie, Japon, etc. By MU_radio_campus_bruxelles   Leave a comment

//www.mixcloud.com/widget/iframe/?feed=%2FMU_radio_campus_bruxelles%2F030814-pete-um-mad-professor-alg%25C3%25A9rie-japon-etc%2F&mini=&embed_uuid=e3d74118-e33c-42a3-8c36-7d3277df7ba7&replace=0&hide_cover=&light=&hide_artwork=&stylecolor=&embed_type=widget_standard&hide_tracklist=&autoplay=

03.08.14 – Pete Um, Mad Professor, Algérie, Japon, etc. by Mu_Radio_Campus_Bruxelles on Mixcloud

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Posted October 31, 2014 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

Dereckvon Nochexxx Review   Leave a comment

Posted October 31, 2014 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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BSE   Leave a comment

L@@K!

10570479_733320963393765_7329415942638777757_n

Posted October 21, 2014 by peteum2013 in Uncategorized

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